


Give In To The Given

by social_reject



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 00:12:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6215824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/social_reject/pseuds/social_reject
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear 3R,<br/>Sorry about last night. My dog was having a hard time adjusting without my roommate around. He’ll be back tonight, so he should be good. I really hope you like pizza, because there’s an Infinity Pizza gift card in the envelope. Again, sorry about the noise.<br/>Love,<br/>Calum and Woof (Apartment 4R)</p><p>In which Michael finds himself in a friends with benefits relationship with the handsome man next door and realizes he has fallen harder then ever before. Thankfully, he's quite sure Calum's arms will be outstretched to catch him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give In To The Given

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted to write Malum. They're the realest of the real. I hope you enjoy! :)  
> Title taken from the Hanson song "This Time Around"

Michael tossed and turned in his bed, frustration having his movements agitated. He knew he was being a bit dramatic as he flopped himself over and over, grabbing for a pillow to cover his ears, but he truly couldn’t help it. Some dog next door had been whimpering and crying well into the night, the barks becoming desperate and pathetic. Michael’s green and bleary alarm clock numbers told him it was already three in the morning. He rubbed at his eyes tiredly, hoping, praying, and damning that dog to stop already. He didn’t know how much more he could take. At this point, he’d have to wake up in the next three hours, that is, if he ever fell asleep.

A light knock on his door had him huffing out, nothing but desperation for sleep coating the sigh. He called quietly for entrance, knowing it was just Luke who would open the door a crack, a tiny sliver of light spilling its way through and into his eyes. His roommate took a few small steps into the room, as if inspecting that Michael was truly awake even though he’d clearly beckoned him to come in.

“So it’s not just me the dog is keeping up?” Luke asked, irritation clear in his voice.

Michael shook his head, rolling his eyes as he tried to come up with a response, but it was three in the fucking morning, articulation was the last thing he was capable of. Luke walked to the edge of the bed and sat down gingerly, dark circles forming bags under his baby blue eyes.

“Please go talk to the neighbor,” Luke pled, a whine in his tone that could not be hidden.

Michael groaned and covered his hands with his face. Of course Luke would make Michael be the one to speak up. Michael peaked out at Luke between his fingers and caved as he saw the toll this night had taken on the younger boy. The lack of sleep left the younger looking pekid. Luke was non-confrontational at best, and Michael knew just by looking at Luke that he would not go over there. No matter what. Michael sighed once more and ripped the covers off his body, a wash of cool air assaulting him as he stumbled out of bed, Luke’s thank you following after his tired limbs.

He made his way through the familiar apartment, neglecting to turn on lights, his body and mind too tired to process the usually automatic motor skill. He opened the front door to his apartment and stepped out into the hallway, his bare feet pressed against the cool hardwood as he stomped his way across the hallway and over to the neighboring door. He rapped the door with one hand and ran the other through his hair. Everything went silent for a moment, the dog’s whines at a standstill, Michael taking that as sign enough to leave, but the door swung open and an awaiting neighbor stood on the other side.

Michael fumbled for words momentarily. Now that the dog had gone quiet, there didn’t seem to be a reason for knocking on the door. This was not a three in the morning social call. Or a booty call. Not that Michael was ever opposed to those. He took a moment to take in the sight of his neighbor, the tanned man looking about as guilty as they come. He must have known why Michael had knocked on the door, but the dog quieting as it happened was a happy coincidence. Michael backed up slightly, tripping over the length of his pajama pants as he stumbled into his own door, exhaustion over riding him.

“Please, just keep your dog quiet,” Michael requested desperately as he turned and fled into his apartment, leaving his neighbor abandoned. 

He crawled back into his bed, fulfilling his purpose, the dog miraculously silent for the rest of the night. This only meant that now Michael had no excuse as to why he couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t the yapping of an overemotional dog, no, it was the burning image of his neighbor standing before him; bare chested, tattoos shadowed from the light, his sweatpants slung low on his hips, his eyes glossed over with defeat. That was what had kept Michael awake. The image was slowly tumbling through his mind, over and over. Michael would of course only write it off to being so exhausted and overwhelmed with the noise that had driven him to this state. It was not that the man was having an effect on him. Not at fucking all.

*

Michael had mustered up enough energy through his spare minutes of sleep to make it through the work day, his modest job at as a temp left him sitting behind a desk all day, left to his own devices. Sure, there had been a little bit of work doled out to him over the course of the day, but more often than not he found himself refreshing his email and twiddling his thumbs for most of the slow day. He was, however, immensely happy and immediately rejuvenated as he was able to punch out for the day, the promise of home and bed keeping him on his feet.

The walk to his apartment complex was short, his temp job was in a building just a few blocks over. Michael had taken the job only as a means of support, he couldn’t honestly see himself sat behind a desk for the rest of his days. No, there was so much more to life than that. He just needed to figure out where that life was and how to grab a hold of it. And he supposed once he did grab hold of it, he would give it his best to never let go. For now though, the temp job would pay his bills and put food on his table. Speaking of which, as he bounded up the stairs to his floor he realized how depraved he was of food. He had barely any time for lunch, and breakfast was just as uneventful. His stomach was groaning at him in a reminder.

He strode up to his door, about to open it when a small blue envelope taped to it caught his eye. He pocketed his keys and reached for the envelope, sliding his thumb under the taped off seal to open it. Inside, a small folded piece of paper greeted him, Michael’s curiosity getting the better of him as he opened it. It didn’t even cross his mind that the envelope may be for Luke, like Michael always said “what’s his is mine”. Except for bills, those were always Luke’s. He unfolded the crisp paper and turned it over to be met with an unfamiliar scrawl.

_Dear 3R,_

_Sorry about last night. My dog was having a hard time adjusting without my roommate around. He’ll be back tonight, so he should be good. I really hope you like pizza, because there’s an Infinity Pizza gift card in the envelope. Again, sorry about the noise. _

_Love,_

_Calum and Woof (Apartment 4R)_

Michael stood in the hallway baffled as he stared down at the paper in his hands. A slight smile was working its way onto his face as the creak of an opening door had him turning to recognize the noise. His neighbor- Calum- stood at the opening of his door, a delighted yet somehow anxious look plastered on his face.

“I see you got my peace offering?” Calum asked, his voice like melted honey, drowning and oozing, slowly pulling Michael under, the effect instantaneous.

“Yeah,” Michael said and nodded, quickly putting the paper back in the envelope. They lapsed into a momentary silence where Michael realized that Calum’s eyes contrasted his voice, the dark brown deep and guarded.

“So we’re good then?” Calum asked nonchalantly.

Michael nodded once more, scratching at the back of his neck as he replied, “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about it.” He was about to leave it at that when something nagging at the back of his mind pulled him back, his rather uncontrollable mouth egging him on. “Did you really name your dog Woof?”

“No.” Calum said incredulously. “My name is Woof.”

And then Calum giggled like the sun setting over ocean, light and breezy, the sound of the waves and the giggles falling from Calum’s lips a sound Michael was convinced he’d never tire of. Michael stood and gawked at a laughing Calum until Calum sobered from his attack and his cheeks stained red.

“Sorry, that was a bad joke.”

Maybe Michael agreed that it was in fact a bad joke, but that didn’t stop him from lying to Calum, if not for the fact that Michael wanted to hear the giggle again, then surely because he was a nice person. “No. No. It was a good one. I’m Michael by the way.”

Calum let out another small tirade of a chuckle and began to turn his back on Michael, headed to enter his apartment, when Michael felt the urge to call him back.

“You really didn’t have to get me a gift card. It’s not a big deal. Nobody died or anything,” Michael said a bit over dramatically, letting sarcasm and effect roll of his tongue quite naturally.

Calum turned back to him, a look of speculation now adorning his features, “You give gift cards when people die? I usually just stick with flowers.”

Michael snorted at that, letting his eyes roll around as he realized he’d found a new verbal sparring partner. Calum was quick witted, Michael realized, and that always made for a good laugh when paired with Michael’s absurd and rather dirty sense of humor.

“You gotta change it up a little bit ya know?” Michael played along. “But you really didn’t have to, I wouldn’t feel right spending it. It wasn’t your fault.”

Michael had begun to open the envelope back up, his fingers searching for the piece of plastic when Calum sighed and Michael met his eyes.

“It’s the least I can do, Woof did keep you up all night.”

Michael contemplated arguing with Calum over it, but saw that there was a determination in his neighbor’s eyes that led him to believe he wouldn’t be winning that fight.

“How about you come with me then? So I don’t feel guilty, you don’t feel guilty, and we _both_ get pizza out of it.”

“Meet you there tomorrow?” Calum asked, his stance showing that he was about ready to saunter off into his apartment.

Michael was the tiniest bit disappointed that Calum didn’t insist they go right now, his grumbling stomach attesting to that fact, but he was more so excited for tomorrow.

“Same time?” Michael asked and Calum nodded.

“See you tomorrow _dude_ ,” Calum confirmed before closing the door on Michael and the conversation.

Michael turned back to his apartment and walked through the door, a wave of confusion chasing after him. He was met with Luke at the kitchen island, sat on his own bar stool, his feet propped up on Michaels, eating left over take out. Michael shooed Luke’s feet away and took a seat next to his best friend, reaching for some of the take out greedily.

“Paws off,” Luke warned, scooting the container of food away from a ravenous Michael.

“It’s been a long day, let me live a little,” Michael grumbled around a bite of food, reaching in for another bite.

“Whatever,” Luke said with an eye roll. “You do look pretty beat.”

“If it weren’t for that dog, I’d be fine,” Michael said, all resentment slipping away from his tone as he pictured Calum and realized what tomorrow would bring.

“God, I hope it’s not back at it again tonight,” Luke grumbled scornfully.

“He’ll be fine. I talked to the owner again today,” Michael admitted.

“Did you give them hell?” Luke wondered, having firsthand experience and knowledge of Michael’s attitude, especially when tired and hungry.

“No, he apologized with a pizza gift certificate. We even made it into a date,” Michael said triumphantly waving the plastic card around.

Luke cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows raising in question.

“A date _date_?”

“No a fake date,” Michael said outrageously, shrugging his shoulders wildly for emphasis. “What other kind of date could there be?”

Luke looked at Michael dubiously and sighed, “I just want to make sure you’re both on the same page. You know what happened last time…”

Michael rolled his eyes and slammed a fist on the table lightly, “We don’t talk about him Luke. You know that.”

 “I’m sorry, but I have plans for the future that don’t include picking up your broken pieces _again._ ”

At that, Michael sagged, his shoulders slouching as he realized that truth in Luke’s statement. He’d gone through hell, put Luke through hell. It wouldn’t be fair to ask that of his best friend again. But, Michael knew Luke would always be there for him. Even if his pieces were too jagged to touch. Luke would always find a way to help.

Michael decompressed and said sincerely, “I don’t know how I could ever thank you enough for that. So, thank you. _Again._ ”

“It’s no problem. Just don’t let it happen again,” Luke joked, a friendly punch to the shoulder communicating that he was kidding. “Now… tell me all about this date. Who asked who?”

Michael laughed, loving the way Luke had become so animated, his chin resting on his hands, elbows planted firmly on the counter top, his eyes widening as he waited for an answer.

“I asked him,” Michael offered.

“How?”

“With words,” Michael teased, getting a thrill when Luke became impatient. “I don’t know, I just asked him. We said we’d meet up tomorrow at the same time and then he said he’d see me tomorrow. Simple. As. That.”

Luke leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest as he let Michael’s rather _simple_ story soak in. “Is that all that was said?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I remember five minutes ago. He said tomorrow, I asked if the same time would work, he nodded and said ‘see you tomorrow dude’.”

“Dude…”

“Dude?”

“It sounds like you got yourself a bro date,” Luke said around a laugh, hopping off his bar stool and striding for his room, as he reached the door he turned and called over his shoulder. “ _Dude_.”

And suddenly that wave of confusion had broken over Michael, cold and startling as he realized the implications.

Michael sat back in astonishment, not minding that his stomach was still growling at him for food, he was listening to the thudding of his heart as he realized where the chips had fallen. He speculated for a moment, realizing that maybe, this could work. He hadn’t really made that many friends since moving to the city, and he wasn’t completely certain he was one hundred percent over his past relationship. Maybe friendship was what he needed.

*

Michael stepped into the overhead recess lighting of _Infinity Pizza_ , a bell on the door signaling his entrance. He scoped out the restaurant, his eyes landing on Calum in a corner booth, the tanned boy catching his eye and brightening tenfold. Calum waved at Michael who was already making his way towards the booth past the other hungry pizza goers. The restaurant was packed, a Saturday night having the conversation bouncing around the over decorated walls. Michael stood in front of the booths table.

“I’m starving,” Michael admitted as Calum laughed and slid out of his seat, the two boys headed towards the buffet.

They piled their plates high with slice after slice of pizza, Michael sticking with the classic; pepperoni piled high. Once they had paid for their food they sat in the booth, Michael sliding across the vinyl to be eye to eye with Calum who was sat opposite him. At first, conversation was pretty mum, their mouths much to occupied with pizza for words to be transpired between them. Somehow, this silence between them didn’t bother Michael, who was usually first to break silences.

Instead of filling the silence with useless chatter, Michael took that time to fully gaze at Calum as they ate. His eyes flickered over the man, discreetly of course, and took in all of him. The light cut shadows across Calum’s tan skin, his jaw line strong and wavering as he chewed. Michael remembered the other night and how affected he’d been by his first impression. He recalled the toned muscles that were underneath the blue fabric of Calum’s shirt. Maybe Michael was attracted to Calum on a purely physical basis, he did not want a relationship. Not at all. As the silence lingered Michael felt the slightest urge to break the delicateness that had fallen upon them, but Calum cleared his throat and was the first to speak.

“How long have you been in the building? Ashton and I just moved in a couple of weeks ago, and I’d yet to see you until you came banging on my door.”

Michael counted back to when he and Luke moved in, just several months he supposed, “Back in June. My roommate Luke and I are usually pretty low key at home, you know, until a dog keeps us up half the night.”

Calum arched his eyebrows and let out a small chuckle, Michael figuring it was at the expense of his exasperated expression remembering that night. Even though the night had been torturous, Michael was now totally okay with it, having Calum sat across him, grinning like there was no end to happiness. Michael grinned back, his mouth turning up easily as his heart did a tiny flutter in his chest.

“Well, I hope this pizza has made up for it, I wouldn’t want my neighbor mad at me,” Calum said abashedly.

“It’s more than made up for it,” Michael said instantly, wanting to quell Calum’s fears that Michael was mad at him.

“And what about Luke? Is he mad?” Calum then asked, prompting Michael to remember his roommate.

“Nah, he’ll get over it. I promised to bring him left overs,” Michael assured quickly.

Calum giggled once more, setting Michael back at ultimate ease. The noise was melodic, so serene yet filled with uncontained joy that it confused Michael how it could have such opposite effects on him at the same time. Michael sat back in the booth, pushing his plate of mostly finished pizza away from him as Calum went on a spiel about his own roommate Ashton, apparently he’d been on a health kick lately and had incited those rules on Calum as well.

“When I’m not around Ashton, it doesn’t count,” Calum said sneakily, picking up his almost finished slice of pizza and taking a bite out of the crust, rolling his eyes back to show the scale of deliciousness it was, compared to the health food currently in his apartment. “What he doesn’t know, won’t kill me.”

Michael laughed at that, “I’m pretty sure that’s not the expression.”

“But it’s fitting…”

Michael nodded his head through another roll of laughter at Calum’s expression, half a piece of crust hanging out of his mouth with wide eyes, “Fair enough.”

*

Michael and Calum walked the halls of their apartment complex, coming up to their doors when Calum brightened, “How about you come in and meet the little monster that kept you awake all night?”

Michael shrugged as in ‘why not’ and followed Calum, breathing out in disbelief as Calum unlocked the door. “I still can’t believe you named your dog Woof.”

Calum laughed, “It’s ironic. Or, it was at first. When I first got him he didn’t make a peep.”

Michael followed after Calum once the door was unlocked and had swung open, little pitter patter of paws on the wood floor finding their way to the entrance. Calum immediately bent down to pick up the dog, cradling him like a new born baby, showering him with just as much affection. Calum bounced Woof in greeting and turned so that Michael could see his face, his big ol’ puppy dog eyes staring back in wonder at Michael. Okay, if Michael had any leftover resentment for his lack of sleep it was immediately washed away with those big brown eyes.

“Michael, this is Woof. Woof, this is Michael,” Calum formally introduced, eliciting a chuckle from Michael and a yawn from Woof. “See, he’s not usually so wound up.”

Michael reached a hand out to pet the small creature, his fur soft, Woof reacting to the touch with a nuzzle of his nose. Michael supposed he wasn’t so bad.

“He’s kind of adorable,” Michael admitted, unable to keep the smile off his face.

“He must take after me then,” a new voice interrupted. A tall- yet not taller than Calum or Michael- man had come from the corner where Michael knew the living room would be, the apartments all having the same layouts as each other.

“In your dreams Ash, he’s my dog,” Calum argued.

Michael fell in with the roommates banter, supplying his own opinions as the two fought over whose dog it really was. They’d found their way to the living room, Michael sat beside Calum on the couch, Woof who was once in Calum’s arms had wiggled his way out and padded his way over to Ashton’s lap, content to curl in a ball and drift to sleep, the look of heartbreak and betrayal evident on Calum’s face.

“Look, he knows who he belongs to,” Ashton said, gently patting the top of Woofs head. “He’s even blond like me.”

“That’s because you insisted on getting a yellow lab, not a chocolate or black lab,” Calum pointed out. “Though I wouldn’t have it any other way. Woof is the best thing to ever happen to me. It was love at first sight.”

Michael snorted a laugh and Calum and Ashton met his gaze, “You guys sound like a mom and dad fighting over who loves the kid the most.”

They all shared a laugh at that, making comparisons to the situation and even threatening to sue for custody at one point, Michael already feeling like part of the group. And even though there was that ever present attraction to Calum, Michael was more than happy to be friends with him. And Ashton. And Woof.

“I’m gonna miss the little guy tomorrow,” Ashton sighed. “I can’t believe you’re letting Mali take him for the night.”

Calum must have sensed the confusion roll off of Michael because he turned to explain, always keeping him in the loop, “Mali has privileges as Woof’s aunt. Also, I could never say no to my sister. She’s quite intimidating.”

“She’s a literal basket of happiness. Don’t listen to anything he says,” Ashton refuted. “But I was thinking… Since Woof will be gone and we won’t have to worry about him, how about we finally throw that house warming party?”

“Only if Michael comes,” Calum started, a little flutter of a feeling crawling its way through Michael’s stomach at the words. “And brings beer.”

 Michael nodded his head in approval of the words and let the feeling sink back to the depths of where it came.

*

Michael and Luke had sauntered their way over to Calum and Ashton’s just a dite after they heard music bumping, Michael and Luke clutching cases of beer as they entered, Calum quick to greet them.

“Michael! Hey!”

“Calum, this is my roommate Luke. Luke this is Calum,” Michael introduced over the music and the chatter that filled the apartment. Luke and Calum exchanged a hand shake, Luke taking the time to send a questioning and concerned look Michael’s way, as if to remind him not to fall into arms that might not catch him. Fool Michael once, shame on you, fool him twice and watch him shatter.

 “You brought beer! Here, come put it in the kitchen,” Calum said, his eyes drifting to the cases, his body turning and guiding them through the small hallway that lead to the kitchen.

The apartment was getting packed, a bunch of people swarmed together in the living room dancing to the music that surrounded them. The kitchen felt like a safe haven to Michael, the confines empty of people except for Calum, Luke already headed off to the living room. The thump of the music was dulled from the kitchen, conversation able to be heard at just above inside voice level. Calum leaned back against the counter and took a sip of beer, content to stare at Michael.

“I’m really glad you came,” Calum said sincerely, past the bottle that was now making its way to sit on the counter top.

“It wouldn’t be a party without me,” Michael joked, sidling his way just a bit closer to Calum, noticing the ink on his bare arms more intensely than at first glance in the hallway in the dead hours of the night.

The tattoos felt really intimate to Michael, his own ink holding stories that he wouldn’t share with just anybody. Calum noticed Michael’s eyes on his tattoos and smirked.

“You like them?” Calum questioned, an eyebrow raised as Michael tilted his head back and forth in thought.

“They’re not bad,” Michael said nonchalantly, trying not to be too overbearing with his fondness of the tattoos. He was always a sucker for some good ink. “When did you get them?”

Calum ran his fingertips over one on his wrist, a particular fondness sparkling his eyes as he looked back up at Michael, “I got my first one when I was sixteen and I’ve just been adding them since.”

 “Tattoos are quite addictive,” Michael said matter of factly, recognizing the insatiable desire for just one more tattoo. Always, just one more.

“And not to get too deep on you, but they’re also a great form of expression,” Calum added on, Michael agreeing immensely with the statement. “Like this one, I got after a particularly nasty break up. Mostly as a ‘fuck you’ to whoever it concerned.”

Calum had shifted his hand to a tattoo on his upper arm, the ink portraying a bird in flight, freeing itself from the confines of its cage. Michael absorbed the symbolism now paired with the story and let it all sink into his bones.

“Break ups are the worst,” Michael mumbled empathetically. He could understand the notion of wanting to say a big ol’ fuck you to those who hurt him, it was a one sided rebellion that he totally wanted to be a part of. Nothing felt better than just saying ‘fuck you’ and ‘fuck it’ and moving the fuck on.

“That’s why I’m not looking for anything serious anytime soon, just good times with good people,” Calum explained, wiggling his eyebrows as he giggled at the implications of his words.

Michael figured he could use a dose of whatever those words implied. It struck him as odd that the context of the words were sexual and yet Calum had chosen to say ‘people’ and not girls or boys. Michael had just assumed that Calum was straight and that was all his fault, and partly Calum’s for calling him ‘dude’, and Luke’s fault for insisting upon it, but mostly Michael’s. He never liked to assume, and when he looked back at Calum that assumption was swept away, a ravenous look capturing his features. Michael gulped and licked his lips.

“That sure does sound like one hell of a plan,” Michael responded, his heart beating harder and harder in his chest as Calum neared him.

“You know, just somebody that I can eat pizza with and play video games with, then get down to it, but without all the emotions and responsibilities of a relationship.”

Michael swallowed a lump in his throat and whispered out as the space between them decreased even more, just mere inches separating them, “A friend with benefits?”

“Exactly,” Calum whispered back softly, his eyes fluttering closed in a soft blink, then reopening, the brown melting into Michael’s essence as those few inches of space between them became nonexistent, their lips pressed together, nothing in the world feeling so right.

Wondrous didn’t even begin to describe the feeling of Calum, the rightness of the moment and the action sinking around them as the background fazed away into a blur. Michael tugged Calum closer, a deal apparently negotiated between the two, sealed with a kiss that stole the breath from Michael’s body. Friends with benefits never tasted so good.

*

Michael was on a high for the rest of the weekend, even past the dreaded Monday, he felt as if he were walking on air when he strolled into his apartment building. Michael and Calum had explored and defined the new aspect to their friendship over the weekend, benefits and rules placed so easily between them. Michael had searched within himself to make sure this was what he truly wanted, and he’d come up with an answer. Not yes, but hell to the fucking yes. He decided that might actually be what’s best for him. All the benefits of a relationship without the fear of falling and inevitably smashing. Any ‘feelings’ he may have thought were connected to Calum had quickly been denied. It was purely physical attraction, and now that attraction had an outlet.

He got to his door, another small envelope taped to it catching his eye. This time the scrawl of his name was familiar. Calum had left Michael another little note.

_Come on over, Ashton and Woof are visiting Ashton’s mom for the night._

Without needing any more prompting Michael pocketed the note and turned to face Calum’s door, anticipation rippling its way through his body. As soon as he opened the door he was met with the sight of Calum and his grin beckoning Michael to come inside. Michael had quickly found Calum was not one to waste time, already having a hold on Michael’s hand as he led him to the bedroom.

Calum all but fell into Michael as they collapsed in a heap on top of each other, Michael’s wandering hands connecting all of those once imagined places to reality. Calum was smooth and enticing, Michael’s hands slipping under Calum’s shirt, his fingertips tracing over the defined abs beneath, his mind connecting to his body in pure ecstasy. The pure wonder that came with each touch left Michael speechless as Calum pressed a line of kisses down Michael’s neck, pushing his shirt out of the way to expose his collarbones, Calum’s mouth teasing Michael’s skin with feather light kisses that had Michael squirming. Michael’s hands roamed from underneath Calum’s shirt to the back of his head, tangling his fingers into the curls to press him further into his skin, to end the teasing that Calum was so adamant to keep up.

Calum’s resolve melted around them as he began to work his way farther down, pulling Michael’s shirt up as he did so, Michael, in modesty and fairness, slid Calum’s shirt off of his rippling back, the muscles tensing as Calum held himself up. Any outside noise buzzing around them slowly vanished into a cloud of white hot ecstasy, Michael’s mind in delirium. He was drunk off of Calum, the boy utterly intoxicating. One sip was not enough. Calum had wiggled his way down Michael, hastily unbuttoning Michael’s jeans and sliding them down his legs, Michael already hardening with arousal as Calum stared up at him in question.

Michael nodded fervently, of course he wanted this. This was all he wanted. Calum. Calum. _Calum._ His mind screamed the name as they continued on, explosions dancing behind closed eyelids, each touch sending sensations of comets burning through their veins.

 *

Michael was roused from his sleep with the dinging of his phone, alerting him to several new messages. He rolled over, noting that it was nearly one in the morning, light slicing through his drawn curtains, a roll of thunder following after quickly, booming and echoing through the apartment. He reached for his phone, his tired hand lazily pulling to him and underneath the warmth of his sheets. He clicked the lock button and saw Calum’s name and number light up the screen. He pulled his thumb across to unlock it, reading the messages once they were opened.

Cal: Woof is terrified of the thunder.

Michael scrolled.

Cal: Ashton’s not home.

Cal: I don’t know what to do.

The next clap of thunder that came by was followed by a whine; fear stricken and desperate. Michael sighed, feeling bad at the image of a scared Woof. Three little bubbles popped up as Calum typed, a swoosh drowned out by the thunder as the message came through.

Cal: Can you come over?

Michael typed out his reply instantly, his feet already hitting the floor as he dragged his pillow and phone with him, using the lightning to guide his eyes through the apartment. He made it out of his door and to Calum’s, a light knock later and the door had swung open to Calum coddling and cradling a terrified Woof. Michael reached out to pet Woof as he entered the apartment, trying his best to transfer his calm to the dog. He’d heard that dogs picked up on anxiety and calm, thus triggering them. Maybe it was bullshit, but it was a shot in the dark of a thunder storm.

A slice of lightning broke its way through the windows, Woof hiding his face against Calum’s shoulder and shaking in fear.

“I’ve tried everything,” Calum said, so brokenly that Michael felt the urge to pull him into a comforting hug instead of Woof. “I feel so bad that he’s so scared.”

Michael nodded, feeling much the same, “Is this his first thunder storm?”

“Yeah,” Calum said as he tried walking around and bouncing the puppy, to see if that might calm him. It did nothing of the sort.

“He’s just not used to it,” Michael replied.  He was wracking his brain for solutions on how to calm Woof but nothing was coming to mind. He feared that Woof may just have to wait it out.

“He’s shaking,” Calum said, walking away into his bedroom, Michael trailing him. “Should we lay down with him or something?”

Michael shrugged, he knew that swaddling infants made them feel secure, so maybe it was the same for dog babies. He suggested this to Calum, who had pulled a blanket off the end of his bed and was wrapping Woof within it, pulling him to his chest, the shaking calming but small whimpers still holding true. Calum carefully crawled into bed, beckoning Michael to do the same, Michael not hesitating to put his pillow down and follow suit. They laid next to each other, Calum still holding Woof, shushing the small dog as the thunder rode its way out.

Eventually Woof had succumbed to an exhausted sleep, the thunder now distant, Michael and Calum staring at each other with heavy eyelids. Content crawled its way through Michael’s body, lulling him to sleep, Calum’s even breathing like the most serene lullaby. Before he drifted off completely he recognized that this was a place he could get used to- very, _very_ used to.

*

When Michael woke to sunlight clawing its way through Calum’s bare windows, his eyes squinting past the intruding light, he was met with the sight of Calum and Woof, still curled up, glossed over in the glow of the morning light. Calum’s eyes slowly fluttered open as he groaned a good morning to Michael, his limbs stretching as Woof’s tail thumped in recognition that Calum was finally awake. Michael smiled and was smiled at by Calum, remembering that feeling of content from the night before. This whole waking up next to Calum thing wasn’t so bad either.

“Rough night, huh Woof?” Calum cooed as Woof crawled his way closer to Calum to lick his cheek. Michael giggled when Calum pretended to be disgusted, when in reality they both knew he loved it. “Thanks for sticking it out with us.”

This time the words were directed at Michael, the thanks not needed, Michael would gladly crawl in bed with Calum no matter the reason.

“It’s no problem,” Michael said shrugging it off, downplaying all of what went with the action. Maybe, just maybe there was _some_ emotion attached to all the things Michael did for and with Calum. But only maybe. And if that maybe were true, then only some.

“Well, I really appreciate it. And so does Woof,” Calum said sincerely. “I’ll make you breakfast. What do you feel like?”

Michael shook his head in disbelief as Calum got up, Woof padding his way down the bed to follow after him. “What can you make?”

Calum stretched, his back muscles rippling as he drew his arms back and groaned slightly, “Good point. How about I buy you breakfast instead?”

“That sounds better,” Michael laughed, during their friendship he quickly found that Calum could make spaghetti and spaghetti only.

Calum strode to his dresser and pulled out two pairs of jeans and two shirts, throwing one of each at Michael. “Here, borrow these so we can head out from here.”

Michael grabbed for the clothes hesitantly, slipping off the bed and heading for the bathroom when Calum’s snort of amusement stopped him.

“What?” Michael asked preposterously.

“You’ll fuck me but not change in front of me?”

When Michael thought about it that way, it did seem pretty silly. But Calum, always the nice guy, turned his back with his hands up in surrender, not wanting to make Michael uncomfortable. Michael narrowed his eyes as he slid his pajama pants off and replaced them with Calum’s jeans, quickly trading shirts. When he was done, he turned his back on Calum and unbuttoned the jeans, sliding them and his underwear down his legs and bent so his ass was out. He cleared his throat and told Calum it was okay to turn around.

He knew Calum had turned when he heard a laugh rip from the younger boy, his job completed successfully. He pulled the pants up and rebuttoned them, turning around with the smuggest of smirks planted on his face.

“That was a good one,” Calum admitted as he clapped a hand on Michael’s shoulder and led them out. “I never knew the moon could be so blindingly pale.”

*

Luke caught Michael as he was slipping on his shoes, his jacket tugged over half of his body already when the blond spoke up, “Where are you going?”

Michael turned to see Luke silhouetted in his bedroom door, his arms folded over his chest.

“Calum and I were gonna meet up,” Michael said, shrugging it off as if it were an everyday endeavor, because over the past few months, it had been.

“Right,” Luke said, his eyebrows arching as his tone dripped with irrefutable sass.

Michael rolled his eyes, “I know you don’t like this whole arrangement I have with Calum, but it’s working Luke. I’m happy.”

Luke wiggled his head with his eyebrows raised and eyes pointed towards the ceiling, as if to express that he was thinking, but thinking sassily.

“If you’re sure.”

“You’d be one of the first to know if I wasn’t,” Michael promised, lending him a pinky with his outstretched hand.

Luke begrudgingly met Michael in the middle and linked their pinkies, the promise childish but speaking volumes.

“You do look happier then… well you know when,” Luke said, neglecting to mention the experience that had single handedly broken all that Michael was at the time.

“I am, I promise,” Michael reassured, their linked pinkies dropping from their hold. “Now will you let me leave in peace?”

Luke nodded and said, “Go forth young one. Be your own man.” 

Michael just chuckled and didn’t point out the fact that he was older than Luke, he was just happy to leave the conversation on a light hearted note. He grabbed a small blue bag on his way out the door and made pace to get to the soccer field where Calum was coaching little league. When he arrived, the kids had dispersed to their parent’s sides and Calum walked over to Michael, grabbing his hand without really thinking about and leading them further through the park the field was located at.

“What’s in the bag?” Calum asked instead of a greeting.

Michael laughed, “It’s a present.”

“For me?” Calum asked, suddenly becoming much more animated.

“Nope,” Michael answered, swinging the bag back and forth steadily as Calum frowned.

“Then who is it for?”

“Woof.”

Calum nodded and let out an amused ‘aha’ as they ventured their way through the park, coming to a bridge that led over a pond, the water spilling through the surface of a rock wall, a small and makeshift waterfall adding tranquility to the air around them.  They sat on the rail of the bridge, the stone uncomfortable but the view breathtaking. Scattered leaves of yellow and orange muddled the water and the paths to the bridge, creating trails through the park. They sat in silence for a moment, content with their company alone.

“I’m really glad I met you,” Calum said, breaking the most delicate silence that had settled around them.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Michael questioned, keeping his tone teasing and light.

“This- what we are- it just makes me really happy.”

Michael’s heart fluttered, the feeling immensely reciprocated. All of his being had begun to scream happy, the way he walked- as if he was floating on air- the way he smiled- as if he wouldn’t be able to tomorrow- was screaming and bursting with _happy_.

“Me too,” Michael said and he felt courage build up in his chest, bubbling to the surface and then spilling over so bravely, “I don’t think I’ve been this happy since- since a while, let’s say.”

Calum cocked his head to the side, his fingers tracing patterns on the back of Michael’s hand, “Oh yea?” Why’s that?” Calum asked verbatim, tossing the words back at Michael.

“You know, I just- I went through some stuff a while back, some relationship stuff, and it’s just nice to be free, but also together.”

“Free together,” Calum mused.

They sank back into silence, Michael grateful that Calum didn’t feel the need to pry into the past relationship stuff he’d brought up. Just mentioning it once was enough for Michael. He didn’t truly want to elaborate any further.

*

They’d spent the rest of the day at the park, letting the sun set in front of them as they sat on the bridge, their feet dangling off the edge, just happy to be with each other. They walked home, Michael’s present for Woof still in his grasp when they walked through Calum’s door, Woof, as always, padding to the front door in greeting. Woof had gotten a bit bigger over the months, but his stature still stayed small, being the runt of the litter leaving him tiny.

“Hello Woof,” Calum greeted almost too naturally as he picked up the dog, making Michael laugh at the exchange.

“Are you expecting him to say hello back?” Michael asked.

And of course, Woof barked in response, Calum breaking out a shit eating grin. Michael just rolled his eyes and presented the present to Woof. First he presented the dog with a bag of handpicked treats, then he pulled out a small black vest.

“What the hell is that? I’m not dressing my dog up,” Calum said.

“It’s not for dress up, it’s a thunder vest. It makes him feel secure during thunder storms, at least that’s what the reviews said.”

Calum’s eyes melted as he reached for the vest and showed Woof, “Look what Mikey got for you.”

Woof lazily sniffed at it and quickly lost interest, going back to nuzzling into Calum’s chest.

“I’m sure Ashton and I will appreciate this more than Woof,” Calum said sincerely. “Thank you.”

Michael reached his hand out and rubbed Woof’s ears, “Anything for this little guy.”

*

Michael rushed through the door of _Infinity Pizza_ , Luke in a corner booth waiting for his friend’s arrival. Michael’s face contorted as he saw the look in Luke’s eyes. There was fire behind the blue, the flames that of a burning blaze. Luke was not happy. And Michael couldn’t blame him. He was an hour late. As Michael slouched into the booth he saw the flames die down, Luke’s anger dissipating as Michael apologized.

“Why are you late?” Luke asked.

“I was with Calum, we just got caught up… doing some stuff.”

Luke arched his eyebrow, and shook his head in disbelief, “You’re getting pretty serious with him, huh?”

Michael shook his head no, and nonchalantly replied, “Nah. We’re just friends.” And then quickly changed the subject. “Can we go get some pizza now?”

Luke leaned back in the booth with his arms folded across his chest, “Just friends don’t feel the things you feel for Calum. And no, we’re going to talk about this first.”

Michael rolled his eyes, not truly in the mood for a fight, but those flames were back in Luke’s eyes, and he knew he would not be getting off so easily. Nor would he be getting pizza anytime soon.

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Michael sighed, “Luke, you’ve said this to me about a million times over the past few months. I can take care of myself.”

“I’m not so sure you can,” Luke replied, nothing but honesty and concern in the words.

Michael deflated at that, his friend’s concern genuinely touching him. He understood why Luke would have cause for concern, Michael’s past was sprinkled with broken pieces of himself, but he liked to think he had stuck himself back together quite nicely, maybe a few cracks here and there, but overall whole.

“This isn’t the past. Calum is not him.”

Michael knew he was right about one thing, Calum was not going to hurt him the way he had. With Calum, he didn’t question every step he took, he didn’t feel as if every corner he rounded was the wrong one. Calum never spoke to him with disdain or _hatred_ in his tone.

“I just worry about you is all,” Luke conceded. “Brent broke you from the inside out. I don’t want to see that again.”

Michael was slightly alarmed that Luke had used his name, they’d much fallen into the pattern of using ‘he’ and ‘him’ when speaking about him. Michael always felt that by using his name it gave him life once more, brought him back to the past. Rarely did Luke refer to him by name, and when he did, Michael knew it was serious.

“You won’t. I know what I’m doing.”

“But do you know how you’re feeling?” Luke asked, jarring Michael and his resistance. “Please, just take a minute to think about it.”

Michael knew what he wanted to say, that he had thought about it, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. He thought about how happy he was with Calum, about how much fun he was having, about how these benefits made him feel off the walls with enthusiasm. But, he hadn’t thought about what all of that meant when paired with each other. Michael was never an expert on feelings in general, his own feelings had always seemed to take a backseat in relationships. His feelings had been stifled and ultimately snuffed out when he was with Brent, so it was hard to put a finger on exactly what he was feeling with Calum.

“Maybe you’re right,” Michael allowed hesitantly. “Maybe, and I mean maybe with all of my being… I might like Calum as a bit more than friends.”

Luke’s eyes widened and his face illustrated a ‘no shit’ expression, “So what are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing.”

“Michael,” Luke whined. “You can’t keep it bottled up. Not again.”

Michael didn’t quite think that what he did last time was ‘bottle it up’, he much felt that he’d become dejected. His feelings had become viscerally numb. He spent months feeling hollow. But maybe that was because that god damn bottle had been too full and it had cracked and the pieces had fallen to the floor thus emptying Michael of everything he once had.

Michael hid his face in his hands and then pushed away, running his hands through his hair dejectedly, “What are you suggesting I do?”

“Talk to him, you absolute moron.”

“It’s not that easy,” Michael replied.

“It really is. You just have to do it.”

Michael contemplated for a moment, “I’ll think about it. Now can we please go get some damn pizza?”

*

 Michael couldn’t get his conversation with Luke out of his head, even two weeks later. Maybe his silence on the topic was foreboding and keeping his thoughts hostage every time Calum was in his line of vision or train of thought. He’d been going weak at the sight of Calum lately, his glass pieces now made of rubber. With each day that passed, Michael was beginning to realize how right Luke was. That maybe turning into a definitely.

Michael breathed heavily and brokenly as Calum continued to pleasure him, his mouth providing sensations that made his toes curl and his fists tighten in Calum’s hair. Michael’s back pressed into the headboard as his head and eyes rolled back, bliss overtaking all of his senses.

“Cal,” he moaned.

His mind had slipped away from him, cognitive thoughts turning to mush, his world spiraling out of control. Feelings were beyond blossoming in his chest, they were full on exploding, bursting a hot white; pleasure mixing in so beautifully.

“Cal… I love you.”

And suddenly Michael’s dizzying world had stopped, silence pressing hotly against him as a new kind of feeling built up in his chest. Anxiety wrapped around him until Calum continued on as if nothing had happened.

*

Michael trembled, a million emotions rocking his body as his hands shook, his fingers gingerly pressing against his phone screen to dial Calum’s number. It’d been a week since he’d said he loved Calum in the heat of the moment. It’d been a week of avoiding Calum. He knew he had to talk to him, it was now or never. He didn’t want to be empty again.

He pressed the phone to his ear and listened to the rings until Calum answered, “Hey.”

“Can we meet up?” Michael asked, skipping all formalities.

Calum took a moment to answer, Michael’s palms going sweaty in an instant, “Sure. At the park?”

“Sounds good,” Michael was able to choke out before hanging up.

He quickly adorned a heavier jacket and left a note for Luke, having promised his roommate that they would get take out later. He was going to make good on that promise, he just needed to get this done first. He knew Luke would understand, hell, if anything, Luke would be cheering him on.

Michael got to the park first, their little rendezvous point of the past few months the waterfall. The air was getting colder, frost was starting to heave on the cemented ground of the bridge. The leaves had lost their color, the trees and sky now grayscale. Michael sat on the cool bridge railing, focusing on keeping his breathing even. Once he heard footsteps approach him from behind, he took in one big calming breath and let it out slowly, letting it dance within the cool air around him.

“Hey,” Calum said gently, even a bit apprehensively.

“I hope I wasn’t bothering you,” Michael said suddenly, feeling foolish for calling Calum out this way.

“Not at all, what’s going on?” Calum questioned, taking a seat next to Michael, not as close as usual, but not so far away that it warranted any worry on Michael’s side.

“We just- we need to talk about us.”

“Here it comes,” Calum said bitterly. “Let me guess? You’re not happy with us anymore?”

Michael panicked, his words coming out tight through his choked up throat, “No! That’s not it at all. The thing is, I’m so happy with you Calum. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. You make me feel like there’s no reason to hold onto the past anymore. You make me anticipate the future, not dread it.”

Before Michael could continue to ramble, Calum cut him off with a question, “What is it about your past that you seem so ready to run from?”

Michael was not expecting that. He didn’t think his words would elicit that sort of question, but then again, he’d sort of blacked out and just free balled it. His words like going commando in basketball shorts. He bit his lip, taking a moment to decide how far he wanted to delve into the past.

“My ex-boyfriend. It’s my ex that I want to run from. When I was with him, everything I did or said felt like the wrong thing. But I held on, I held onto him thinking that it was love, thinking that love was a battlefield and that I could win. But when he left, he didn’t just leave, he didn’t just drop me. He pushed me off a cliff and I hit the fucking rocks.”

Calum’s eyes glossed over, but he didn’t say anything.

So, Michael continued, “But it’s not like that with you. This whole friends with benefits thing is fun, but I want more. I don’t want to just be your friend. I lo-“

Calum cut him off then, “Michael.”

Michael silenced.

“I heard you the first time you said that. I thought it was just heat of the moment; that you were just caught up in the feeling. So I left it alone. Then you started avoiding me. So I left you alone some more. That’s my mistake. I should have told you then and there that I’m not sure how I feel.”

“You’re not sure?” Michael asked, his voice broken, the syllables all mangled.

“Not yet. I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m ready for another relationship.”

Michael nodded, his eyes skirting to Calum’s clothed arm where he knew that god damn tattoo lay. He understood, he really did. But that understanding didn’t do anything to quell the absolute devastation within him.

“Then what does that mean for us?” Michael prompted.

“I just need some time to think about us, is all,” Calum said, reaching for Michael’s hand but Michael withdrew, sinking into himself. “Mikey. I’m sorry. But you need to know that you are so important to me. You make me happy. I just don’t know how to begin- if we should begin.”

“Alright.”

And then, Michael got up and walked away.

*

 Three days, five hours, thirty seven minutes, and twenty six seconds. It’d been three days, five hours, thirty seven minutes, and twenty seven seconds since Michael had walked away from Calum- not that he was counting or anything. He sighed, rolling over in his bed, aimlessly checking his phone once more. Luke had come to check up on him during his lunch break, Michael in between temp jobs momentarily, leaving him to a new kind of hallow. He felt useless.

“You okay?” Luke asked from Michael’s doorway.

“Fine,” Michael grumbled.

“If I had known it would have gone this way, I wouldn’t have told you to talk to him.”

“No, you were right to tell me to. Better to find out now than later,” Michael said a bit scornfully. “I don’t want to be living a lie with him.”

Luke sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, patting Michael’s leg awkwardly. Michael knew he was leaving Luke in a weird position. Michael hadn’t necessarily broken, there were no pieces of him to be put back together, which left Luke floundering on how to help his best friend. It seemed to Luke that Michael had just sort of- stopped.

“I don’t know if I should even be telling you this or not, but there was a note on the door.”

Michael turned abruptly, sitting up so quickly that his phone fell from his grasp.

“From Calum?”

Luke nodded, “He wants to meet you at the park.”

Michael narrowed his eyes, “You opened it?”

“Hey! What’s yours is mine!”

Michael rolled his eyes at that, and sat up a little straighter, “Should I go?”

Instead of giving Michael a direct answer, Luke replied with his own question, “Do you want closure?” _Typical Luke._

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

*

Michael met Calum at the park, back on the bridge where he walked away from him, it was only fitting that Michael would be the one to walk to him this time. Calum patted the seat next to him, Woof on a leash sat at his feet. Michael smiled at Woof and reached down to pet his head, still very fond of the dog.

“So…” Michael said breezily as he tugged his jacket closer around him.

“Michael,” Calum started formally, arching his back straighter and squaring up to look Michael directly in the eye. “Before I met you, relationships were so black and white. They were good or bad. They were all in or completely out. And I tended to go all in to the bad ones. I promised myself I wouldn’t get into another relationship, not for a long time, but that seemed to crumble. Because now, whenever I look at you, whenever I even think about you, I can’t think or see straight-“

Michael snorted a laugh at the choice of words but silenced when Calum shot him a look.

“I’m trying to tell you I’m in love with you. Could you please not laugh at me right now?”

“Sorry,” Michael said, his hands up in surrender. Calum became quiet, so Michael nudged him. “Go on.”

“I don’t even know where I was anymore.”

“You were about to confess your undying love for me, maybe get down on one knee and propose, queue up the sappy yet romantic background music, you know, the works.”

Calum shook his head and rolled his eyes but continued on nonetheless.

“There’s really nothing left to say except that I love you and I’m sorry I couldn’t say it sooner. I always knew, I knew from the moment you said it in bed, but I wouldn’t allow myself to feel it. It’s like you were too good to be true, and I didn’t want to lose it.”

“You wouldn’t lose me. _Ever_.”

“Well, I couldn’t see that. Not with my vision being all dizzy and filled with resistance.”

“What do you see now?”

“You. Me. Together. For real this time.”

Michael shrugged, “I’m gonna have to think about that one.”

Calum laughed, “I’m sure I deserved that.”

Michael softened and smiled as Woof barked at him, as if to say what Michael was about to, “You deserve the best.”

“ _You_ are the best.” Woof barked, this time in the sound of protest. “After Woof.”

Michael’s face split into a huge grin as he clutched Calum’s jacket and pulled him impossibly close, sealing their new deal with a kiss. This kiss tasted like the promise of forever, and Michael never knew forever could be so sweet.

*

After two years of being _together_ Michael had moved across the hallway, Ashton swapping roommates with him willingly. There was no way he was going to stay in an apartment with Calum _and_ Michael, because in Ashton’s words they were _so gross._ Michael looped his arm around Calum’s shoulder and pulled him in, neatly tucking Calum into himself, adamant about never letting him go, he’d found someone worth holding onto. Woof was sprawled lazily across both of their laps, keeping them content and warm when a knock on the door jarred them away from each other.

“I’m coming in to get my dog, you guys better not be naked again,” Ashton called out warily.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated! :)  
> Talk with me on [Tumblr!](lashtonsillusion.tumblr.com)


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